A Healthy Confession

If you clicked on this post hoping to find out all of my deepest darkest secrets, sorry. What you will find are some things that I have learned that may help you understand how to seek restoration through a healthy confession.

So, you ask, "why should I listen to you?"

Growing up and even until fairly recently, I'll admit that I was the classic over-sharer. Maybe it was through divine revelation or just me reaching a new milestone of common sense, but I eventually realized that I was addicted to telling on myself simply because it made me feel less guilty. There were genuine confessions as well, but the unhealthy confessions consisted of me sharing something with someone who...A) Had no power to forgive the offense and B) Did not have a deep enough relationship with me to comfortably offer any meaningful counsel. The truth is, I was sharing what I should have carefully guarded with people who probably didn't care to hear it! Proper confession is about restoration and can turn something bad into something that can ultimately give glory to God; navigating those waters takes discernment and is a responsibility that should not be taken lightly. 

Now my attitude is this: I will gladly share the details of my life with anyone whom I believe God places in my path for that purpose. Usually those people will be going through something similar to what I have experienced and my role will be to encourage them and let them know there is life beyond the sin, because through Christ there always is. Beyond that, those life-lessons are like gold that I will guard closely.
 
The Bible does say "confess your sins one to another" (James 5:16), and "the truth will set you free" (John 8:32). Those things are true, vital, and life-giving, but there is a big difference between a self-gratifying confession and a healthy confession. 

I have found that there are generally 3 aspects of a genuine healthy confession.

1- Confession Brings Awareness to a Need for Restoration

It takes humility to approach God or man and admit that we've messed up. Confession is not only admitting we've made a mistake, it is also admitting that we do not possess the power on our own to correct it. Healthy confession is when humility boldly steps out in faith to search for grace and forgiveness.

 2- Confession Begins the Healing Process

Earlier I mentioned John 8:32, ..."the truth shall set you free". In fairness, the actual context of that passage is not necessarily referring to confession. Instead, it refers to those who will be set free by following Jesus' teachings (the "truth"). The reality is that confession, or telling the truth, does indeed set us free. There is healing when we bring our sin into the light. 1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." If the issue is between you and another person and it is within the realm of possibility, confess to and seek forgiveness from the person who actually has the power to forgive you, not everyone else. If it is not possible to approach a specific person to ask for forgiveness, confess it to God and pray for His will to be done in that situation. An accountability partner, pastor, or a very close friend who is free to speak truth to you is an invaluable resource for that scenario as well. Outside of those exceptions, be prayerfully selective when sharing your offenses as sometimes it can do more harm than good. And for the good of everyone involved, DO NOT post it on social media due to an emotional reflex. Jesus said, “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you." (Matthew 7:6). There are also times when the Holy Spirit may lead you to confess your sin "from the mountain top". If that is the case by all means do it, but do it prayerfully. Not everyone will "have ears to hear" the true intent of that type of confession, so always bathe it in prayer first. Lastly, share your confessions with your spouse. The moment you start hiding anything from a spouse is the moment the enemy can start building a wall one brick at a time. Some may argue against this, I believe THEY ARE WRONG.

 3- Confession Ministers to Others

The ministerial aspect of confession is the light at the end of a long dark tunnel. There is something incredibly life-giving about sitting across from someone who is completely broken from a mistake they've made and being able to say, "I have been exactly where you are, I get it. It's going to be OK. God has you here for a greater reason than you can know right now". That type of comfort declares "you are not alone". It is like a life-preserver in the middle of the ocean to someone who feels lost and without hope. Confession in that context is a perfect example of how God uses evil for good. In those times we can look the enemy squarely in the eye and say with confidence... "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today." (Genesis 50:20)

Confession is not an easy thing to do, which is why practicing it is direct evidence of something supernatural working inside of you.